We were invincible

What pisses me real bad now is that my iPod doesn’t play the correct song. The loneliness in the night has been nothing but a wake up call emotionally that I cannot be in this anymore. I feel lonely even I’m in a relationship with him. What is happening? We used to be invincible; we won every war that came upon us. We looked compatible that’s what they said. But now, it’s barely qualified to be called a relationship.

re•la•tion•ship
   rɪˈleɪ ʃənˌʃɪpShow Spelled[ri-ley-shuh n-ship]
–noun
1.
a connection, association, or involvement.
2.
connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3.
an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students.

A connection; involvement. Or commitment. I would like to perceive being in a relationship means 2 people that feel the connection and share a series of wonderful events together. But have I and he done that? I’ve been waiting ever since the day he got into BMT. Sadly to say, 9 months later he came around and bit me and broke it down for me that his studies and career was more important. I’m not unreasonable. I fathom exactly what you are saying and I’m glad that you had the drive to work for a great future for yourself. But, I wasn’t included in your future and what’s happening now. I wasn’t exactly the happiest girl out there. We never had time to spend together and called it ours.

Yet time and time we sat down to ‘try’ to solve the issue, it never gets in your brain. Am I too insignificant that I wasn’t in the list of ‘Important’? ‘You are as important’, you said without any hesitation. Those are just words, empty as the jar. Times when I wrote ample letters, took video to sing you 2 songs, surprised you on your 21st, hanging out with your folks even though all I wanted was to spend ‘us’ time. Now you’re stable, your hair grew back, everything settled down. You kicked me aside and expect me to be there for you without you trying to keep me. These 9 months felt like a flop. Being make used of emotionally, standing there like a fool.

I’m not going to do that anymore. It’s bigger than I thought. I’m merely a girl asking for love. Sometimes even if I give all I possess & body to you, and I have love. It doesn’t mean anything. You don't cry, you don't emote. I'm not a robot like you, I'm human that was made out with flesh. I give up.

I wish you all the best.